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Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Problems Are BIGGER Than Yours Sooo...

This is not and will never be the case for anyone...Each of us have our moments in life, where you want to give up, or you question God, or whatever it is that you believe in...you feel angry and cannot for the life of you understand why or how, whatever it is that you are going through is happening to YOU!!! What did I do so terribly wrong to have to go through this? Well hello there-my friend in low places YOU are not alone...


After finding out about our son Max having PFV many friends and family members opened their hearts to us...even some strangers. As terrible as it may seem talking with other people and hearing their trials in life and hearing their hearts pour out to us with so much love and comfort was INCREDIBLE!!! Allen and I were in the hardest place we had ever been...felt pain we had never felt, we got angry at God...even wondered if he had just completely "left the building".


I started thinking of my life...all of it. The times I felt I was in the lowest of lows...and somehow I managed to come through it and be better because of it. All of the stories my friends, family, and strangers had shared with me...trying to put myself in the shoes of these people and attempt to feel what they were feeling or had felt...I even found myself again asking why for them? For the love of God I cannot understand why...


His mom and 2 sisters that absolutely adored him...Getting that phone call at 3 or 4 on that October morning that their son/brother had been shot and killed for absolutely no reason at all...he was such a loving and genuinely kind hearted person...not one enemy in the world...the 3 of them still being strong people, praying for others and finding comfort in knowing that God needed him for bigger things...


Why at 29 does she have cancer? She has 2 daughters and so much life left to live...She still wears her gorgeous smile and stands strong as an advocate for MS. She explains that there is still much hope for her, but no cure for MS and how she will continue to fight for a cure not for her own illness, but the one that shes witnessed hurt others with no hope...


How could such a loving mother of a beautiful daughter not be able to have another child? The other child she had always planned to have? I can remember playing barbies with her as kids and it never failed she always had her family of four in her souped up red barbie vette; Yet she still sends prayer and words of comfort to my family and even said she doesn't know how we are being so strong...She is the strong one to me...


Why would this happen to anyone? A 27 year old single woman's home catches on fire, her 3 year old son is saved-unharmed, her house is gone, she lays in a hospital room now 3 months later, with both legs amputated due to infections caused from her burns, and speaks with a voice box as a result of the smoke inhalation, she fears seeing her own son because she can't bare the thought of frightening him as this was not the mommy he knew...HOW GOD?


The awesome mom with a beautiful little girl. The little girl I am sure she had always dreamed of having and loving so unconditionally...why is there even such a thing as Post Partum? The fear she must feel wondering why...She adores her child so how could she feel these things of not wanting to hold her sweet little baby?
And still she comforts others and prays...


A mother of a now 18 year old amazing daughter who is blind and limited on one side of her body...not because she was born this way but due to a car accident she was involved in at age 7. The pain she must have went through and still goes through seeing her beautiful daughter go through all of these unnecessary obstacles in life...And still she comforts others and has the best since of humor...still shares her "best thoughts" on all things...All the while devoting her life to ensure her daughter lives her life to the fullest...


The young mother of 2 who has been in love with the same man since grade school, now going through a brutal divorce due to his long battle with alcoholism...she still prays for my family and sends words of comfort.


The lady dear to my heart that at one time in life was married to an alcoholic that abused her...she is a strong and beautiful woman with the most amazing little person in the world now...she inspires me everyday.


A friend who is in the midst of losing both of her parents to terminal illnesses, of which live on the other side of the Earth...yet she still hugs Allen and I and explains how she hurts for us and prays for us.

Or the mom that got in a care accident and as a result her youngest daughter was killed, as she was a passenger. This woman still stands strong, prays, and devotes her life to being the best mother and grandmother she can be...


The list goes on and on people...You think about all of these things and step back and realize no we aren't alone in our trials throughout life. We all have bad days, we all at times wish things were a little different, get mad when someone cuts us off on the road, have moments when we do things or say things in a fit of anger that we later wish we could take back...you can't. This is our life...it has molded us into the people we are. The hard times make us stronger and give us compassion to be strong for other people in their time of need. I realize that to each of us our problems are the hardest because it is our experience...and rightfully so. What may seem petty to one person could break someone else's soul. We all have the opportunity to better someone elses life everyday...we just have to choose to do so. Whats small to you may be the world to someone else.


I really wish I could personally thank each and every person that has emailed, called, and prayed for my family. Moments like these...the hard ones...these are the times I know without a doubt there is a higher being...to me thats God..to you maybe something else....I am thankful that my situation (Max's situation) is not worse, I thank God for my life, all the smiles, laughs, and for all the amazing people we are lucky to know and most of I thank GOD for my precious Max.

My cousin sent me this and we found it very comforting...thanks Allison!

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand; Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, Other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed during the low periods of my life, When I was ...suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints. Why when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints is when I carried you."

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